I'm still buzzing this morning from my day yesterday. Upgrading from Kindle 1 to Kindle 2 will do that to me, I guess. Thank you's again to my dear husband who agreed to buy me a Kindle 2 for my birthday, instead of the much cheaper sewing machine I'd originally asked for! I'm sure I didn't need the new Kindle, but hey, sometimes wants count, right?
I woke up at 4:00am this morning and couldn't go back to sleep. I kept replaying my today's to-do list in my mind. ARGGHHHH!!! I hate it when that happens.
Fortunately, I'm feeling pretty good, not dragging yet. I decided last minute that I needed to run to the grocery store after I dropped Ben off at school. Wondered why, when I got halfway there and it started snowing and blowing like crazy. Said a little prayer for safety and carried on.
The scale is a friend this morning, I'm down 3 lbs since I started my blog. YAY me!! But really, the thanks goes to my Heavenly Father who has blessed me with strength and courage. I'm grateful to Him for His tender mercies today. Prayer is the key, I'm sad that it has taken me so long to figure that out, but so grateful that I finally did.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
February 10, 2009
I'm not sure why I got out of bed today. I didn't have anything exciting to look forward to, no bribes I'd rewarded myself with, no exciting new music. I just got out of bed! Maybe I'm making progress or maybe I am just growing tired of the bed, who knows. But I'm up. That's what counts.
I cleaned the living room, dusted, vacuumed, put laundry away, started more, made beds, helped Ben with homework, read scriptures, wrote in my journal and took Ben to school all by 9:00am.
I just finished a good 30 minute work out and now I'm going to go feed myself, do more laundry and get myself cleaned up.
I am looking forward to a WHOLE 5 hours of quiet house. I think everyone is well and back to school and work for the first time in almost a week. Hallelujah!
So I'm going to read a book and sit in the quiet of my house. DO NOT DISTURB!! LOL
I cleaned the living room, dusted, vacuumed, put laundry away, started more, made beds, helped Ben with homework, read scriptures, wrote in my journal and took Ben to school all by 9:00am.
I just finished a good 30 minute work out and now I'm going to go feed myself, do more laundry and get myself cleaned up.
I am looking forward to a WHOLE 5 hours of quiet house. I think everyone is well and back to school and work for the first time in almost a week. Hallelujah!
So I'm going to read a book and sit in the quiet of my house. DO NOT DISTURB!! LOL
Saturday, February 7, 2009
February 7, 2009
I had a really LONG night last night. Ben was up several times needing medicine and attention. After the past couple of days I was really feeling the FREAKISHLY HUGE anxiety rearing its ugly head.
I was really craving my bed and lots of food this morning, but knew I had things that had to be done today. Mainly going to Sharylann's bridal shower, and finding a mother of the bride dress for the wedding in two weeks. Kind of important things.
So I did some soul searching, and some praying and pondering and decided to get up out of the bed and go for a walk. Eight AM on a Saturday morning, ice on the sidewalks and just slightly chilly out, but there I was, music blasting in my head walking down the center of the road to avoid the ice.
I'm feeling awake and so much better now. YAY And ready to take on my day and make important lifetime memories.
Favorite new song: Lifehouses' Broken. It had some real meaning for me and this journey that I'm on right now!
I was really craving my bed and lots of food this morning, but knew I had things that had to be done today. Mainly going to Sharylann's bridal shower, and finding a mother of the bride dress for the wedding in two weeks. Kind of important things.
So I did some soul searching, and some praying and pondering and decided to get up out of the bed and go for a walk. Eight AM on a Saturday morning, ice on the sidewalks and just slightly chilly out, but there I was, music blasting in my head walking down the center of the road to avoid the ice.
I'm feeling awake and so much better now. YAY And ready to take on my day and make important lifetime memories.
Favorite new song: Lifehouses' Broken. It had some real meaning for me and this journey that I'm on right now!
Friday, February 6, 2009
February 6, 2009
I didn't even have to make myself get out of bed this morning. I was anxious to get out of bed. The house is empty except for me, everyone is at school and work. It was a pleasure to get out of bed so I could enjoy the peace and quiet of having no sick people at home!
I tried really hard to be an angel of mercy to my sick guys yesterday. I even brought Kevin his meals to the couch in the loft. He's always so good to me when I'm sick. I wanted, just one time, to be good to him. It made me feel good to do something nice for him, for a change.
I had an AHA moment this morning. I've spent alot of time over the years reading books on losing weight. Books about visualization, books about pinching your little finger and thinking happy thoughts, books on meditation, books on goal setting. All have helped in little ways of course.
But the past couple of days as I've read my scriptures in the mornings, I've been reminded of the power of revelation and prayer. I decided it was finally time to turn to the Lord for some answers, DUH!!! You know, the answer is always there, staring at you in the face, and sometimes I think you have to reach the bottom before you realize that. Why haven't I ever prayed about my problems, or asked him what I should be doing as far as eating and exercising goes? Why do I look to "experts" to help me, when he truly is THE expert?
I found some good answers, answers that seem to be working for me so far. The scale was back in the 190's this morning.
He lives! He loves me. He knows me. He listens when I pray. I'm grateful for the AHA moments in my life.
I tried really hard to be an angel of mercy to my sick guys yesterday. I even brought Kevin his meals to the couch in the loft. He's always so good to me when I'm sick. I wanted, just one time, to be good to him. It made me feel good to do something nice for him, for a change.
I had an AHA moment this morning. I've spent alot of time over the years reading books on losing weight. Books about visualization, books about pinching your little finger and thinking happy thoughts, books on meditation, books on goal setting. All have helped in little ways of course.
But the past couple of days as I've read my scriptures in the mornings, I've been reminded of the power of revelation and prayer. I decided it was finally time to turn to the Lord for some answers, DUH!!! You know, the answer is always there, staring at you in the face, and sometimes I think you have to reach the bottom before you realize that. Why haven't I ever prayed about my problems, or asked him what I should be doing as far as eating and exercising goes? Why do I look to "experts" to help me, when he truly is THE expert?
I found some good answers, answers that seem to be working for me so far. The scale was back in the 190's this morning.
He lives! He loves me. He knows me. He listens when I pray. I'm grateful for the AHA moments in my life.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
February 5, 2009
I think this is going to be one of those days when I got out of bed but so wished I hadn't!
Kevin came home from his trip sick, Jesse has been home from work for two days now sick, and Ben is home from school today sick. I HATE SICK!!!! Especially sick boys and men. For some reason when they are sick no one in the world is is sick as they are.
But I got up and took a little girl from the ward to school and then went on to the grocery store to buy lots of comfort food so my guys could have things to eat that make them happy. Soup, yogurt, cottage cheese, crackers, turkey, gushers, ice cream, gogurts. You know, all the good stuff.
So as my reward for going shopping and being at home with all the sickies (and missing the Temple with Sharylann this morning) I bought myself a book and a magazine and a little tiny container of Cookie Dough Ice Cream (you know, the 1/2c. containers of Ben and Jerry's that are only 200 CALORIES!!!). So maybe they'll all take a nap and I can read a book and eat some ice cream. On the couch, not in my bed, I promise!
Kevin came home from his trip sick, Jesse has been home from work for two days now sick, and Ben is home from school today sick. I HATE SICK!!!! Especially sick boys and men. For some reason when they are sick no one in the world is is sick as they are.
But I got up and took a little girl from the ward to school and then went on to the grocery store to buy lots of comfort food so my guys could have things to eat that make them happy. Soup, yogurt, cottage cheese, crackers, turkey, gushers, ice cream, gogurts. You know, all the good stuff.
So as my reward for going shopping and being at home with all the sickies (and missing the Temple with Sharylann this morning) I bought myself a book and a magazine and a little tiny container of Cookie Dough Ice Cream (you know, the 1/2c. containers of Ben and Jerry's that are only 200 CALORIES!!!). So maybe they'll all take a nap and I can read a book and eat some ice cream. On the couch, not in my bed, I promise!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
February 4, 2009
I crawled out of bed to run Ben to school this morning. While I was in the car I happened to open my eyes enough to see that the sky was blue, the sun was shining and people were actually out walking their dogs. That led me to the conclusion that it might be kind of warm outside. HMMMM
So I came home, crawled back into bed and read my scriptures and an article in the Ensign (which reminded me of the ability of the Temple to make us feel better, which may be why I get out of bed tomorrow!) and then got back out of bed and went out for a walk.
It was pretty chilly when I started walking, but after a few minutes of doing a walk/jog I was feeling pretty warm. I walked down to the Holiday Station and then back. Took me about an hour and I was feeling it by the time I trudged back up our hill, but WOOHOOOOO am I feeling good now. All those vitamins from the sun, and endorphins from my sort of run, I feel like I could conquer the world today.
So I came home, crawled back into bed and read my scriptures and an article in the Ensign (which reminded me of the ability of the Temple to make us feel better, which may be why I get out of bed tomorrow!) and then got back out of bed and went out for a walk.
It was pretty chilly when I started walking, but after a few minutes of doing a walk/jog I was feeling pretty warm. I walked down to the Holiday Station and then back. Took me about an hour and I was feeling it by the time I trudged back up our hill, but WOOHOOOOO am I feeling good now. All those vitamins from the sun, and endorphins from my sort of run, I feel like I could conquer the world today.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
February 3, 2009
The only thing that got me out of bed today was the promise I made to myself.
Dear self: "If you get out of bed today, clean the kitchen, put away the laundry, dust and water the plants, exercise and take a shower, then you can order a book for your Kindle."
So I've done everything on the list and now I can go order my book. Some days I have to make bargains with myself. Does anyone else in the world have to do that? Or is it just crazy me?
I stayed in bed most of the day yesterday and I ate until I was sick. Of course I then picked this morning to step on the scale. Still seeing that 200 but what did I expect.
Please tell me I'll conquer this behavior someday soon. I don't think I want to live my whole life battling this disease, addiction, habit, whatever it is. There has to be a better way to cope with that FREAKISHLY HUGE ANXIETY than sitting in my bed eating till I'm sick. I'm tired of the way I feel when I'm living this way.
Dear self: "If you get out of bed today, clean the kitchen, put away the laundry, dust and water the plants, exercise and take a shower, then you can order a book for your Kindle."
So I've done everything on the list and now I can go order my book. Some days I have to make bargains with myself. Does anyone else in the world have to do that? Or is it just crazy me?
I stayed in bed most of the day yesterday and I ate until I was sick. Of course I then picked this morning to step on the scale. Still seeing that 200 but what did I expect.
Please tell me I'll conquer this behavior someday soon. I don't think I want to live my whole life battling this disease, addiction, habit, whatever it is. There has to be a better way to cope with that FREAKISHLY HUGE ANXIETY than sitting in my bed eating till I'm sick. I'm tired of the way I feel when I'm living this way.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
LOL Alisha! I don't flip off the construction guys anymore. I'm at the age where I relish the compliment!
I got out of bed yesterday just for the Ipod tunes I downloaded. I had a great workout and have to say that running to Britney Spears' Womanizer and Lizabeth's Hip/Hop stuff makes the time go quicker.
Today I got out of bed to go to Church. I'm so glad I did, if just for Relief Society which was wonderful. Sister MacArthur gives the sweetest lessons. And the Spirit was strong and sweet. But what made it really worth getting out of bed for today was sitting next to Jaclyn Weist and her sweet baby. I've never seen a baby show his joy with every inch of his body and he has a smile to die for. Made me feel joyous just watching him. Thanks for sharing that with me today Sister Weist!!!
So now I must admit that I feel social overload and wish I could just crawl back into bed right now. I am struggling like crazy with social claustrophia right this second. Crawling anxiety, creepy depression, freakishly huge (Ben's favorite term) stress! I hate that I can feel such pleasure in being in Relief Society this morning, and feel such misery this evening. SIGH
I got out of bed yesterday just for the Ipod tunes I downloaded. I had a great workout and have to say that running to Britney Spears' Womanizer and Lizabeth's Hip/Hop stuff makes the time go quicker.
Today I got out of bed to go to Church. I'm so glad I did, if just for Relief Society which was wonderful. Sister MacArthur gives the sweetest lessons. And the Spirit was strong and sweet. But what made it really worth getting out of bed for today was sitting next to Jaclyn Weist and her sweet baby. I've never seen a baby show his joy with every inch of his body and he has a smile to die for. Made me feel joyous just watching him. Thanks for sharing that with me today Sister Weist!!!
So now I must admit that I feel social overload and wish I could just crawl back into bed right now. I am struggling like crazy with social claustrophia right this second. Crawling anxiety, creepy depression, freakishly huge (Ben's favorite term) stress! I hate that I can feel such pleasure in being in Relief Society this morning, and feel such misery this evening. SIGH
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